Taking the Leap…or Swim

Fear can be a great motivator.  I use great in its intended connotation; not the modern view that “great” means “good.”  An aside….in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, Olivander says, “…after all, He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named did great things; terrible but great…”  “GREAT” means “big” (to me). I think there are many types of fear; two of which motivate me most; fear of what we do and fear of what of we don’t do.  I am battling the latter.  I don’t think, as a functional human being, I have the option to live with a massive pile of regret.  I can only imagine the level of human misery associated with waking up at a ripe old age, saying to oneself, ” S&*t, I never did a darn thing I wanted to do, and now it’s too late.”  I have a fear of regret.  I’ve made myself a list of all the things I need to do in order to live a fulfilled life.  These lines are scribbled with the need for experiences.  As I get older I scratch off the need for “stuff.” Fancy cars and jewels have lost their allure.  I need to breath certain air, hear sounds of certain places and feel their energy.   I need to challenge myself as an artist and embrace the diversity and “greatness” of something or some place much larger than myself.  These feelings and needs have led to the decision to apply to Master of Fine Arts programs in London.  It is a huge leap across a “great” big ocean. My only chance at challenging myself to become something bigger, better and more powerful is to leave the comfort of the things I am familiar with and break out of a continuous cycle of “what works currently.”  It is a scary, awesome, rattling, exciting endeavor that I hope with all my heart works out.  It will help me to check off #1 and #2 on the list and maybe I can start on #3; guiding others like me.